86 lamb chops, push the tilapia tonight.

Ya'know.  Most of us on here have probably worked in the restaurant industry to pay the bills when our art doesn't seem to be paying them for us.  Sometimes waiting tables makes me hate people more and more.  This evening at the restaurant I work at, I had several people that just.. ugh.  One man who seemed to be the host of his party of four was a complete douchebag.  More like a big bag of douche actually.  If there is such a thing.  I did my thing, took care of the table but he was just always really rude.  At the end of the meal I played the bill down and he took it and looked at it and then slipped his card in and set it down.  I quietly grabbed it, ran the card, went back to the table, thanked them and placed it down.  10 or so minutes later he about halfway stood up and yelled waiter, are you ever going to run my card and handed me the book.  I took the book, smiled a bit and said oh sir, I already took care of it, I just need you to sign the receipt and opened the book and showed him, smiled an evil smirk, and handed it back to him.  "Have a wonderful evening and thanks again" I said in a very obvious sarcastic tone.  His face got a bit red and he muttered something and that was that.  They eventually left and I went and got the book off the table to close out the check and see what my tip was.  Bastard took the merchant copy receipt (which is the one I keep) and left the customer copy with some sorry excuse for a signature and nothing in the tip line.  For a second, I was pissed that he stiffed me on a 150 dollar check.  Then I was pissed he was a total shed of tools.  Then I took care of the problem.  I assumed that someone of his platinum american express card status meant to leave 20% but took the wrong receipt by mistake.  So that is just what I gave myself. 

Now I know I'm a good waiter, and if I mess up, I know it and don't expect as much of a tip.  But we weren't busy tonight and I gave them outstanding service.  This guy had a chip on his shoulder from the start.

</end rant>

p.s. 

make sure you put your credit card in the spot designated for a credit card when trying to pay the bill.  I think nothing is more rude than taking the check presenter when my guests haven't even opened it yet to look.  It is like I am rushing them out.  You look like an idiot standing up waiving the check book at me.  If you slip the card in the book where I can't see it, I don't know you're ready to pay.  Same with cash.  Stick a little bit of it out.  Otherwise I'm not coming by until you stand up and waive that thing in the air.

Cassie come have cupcakes.