i'm that starry-eyed kid, go ahead and break my jaw

What follows is the result of three tries and a whole lot of compromise between what I want to say and what I don't want you to know. 

--- 

It takes a lot to make me cry. It only comes when something is missing. Whether it’s love, respect, inclusiveness…tonight it was appreciation. I do a lot for people. I’m not one to expect something in return. I do for others because it makes me happy. Generally I don’t really like receiving gifts. Weird, I know. I take gift buying as a serious affair. I put more thought into buying a small gift for a loved one, than the decisions I make about my own purchases. I want to make sure the gift that I present shows that I care, I listen and I appreciate someone for whom they are. When I receive a gift, many times it’s impersonal. I know it’s the thought that counts, but sometimes a bad gift is just a sign of doing something because, well, that’s what you are supposed to do and a lot less about doing something because you want to do it. I love Christmas gatherings and birthday parties because I love seeing someone being truly surprised at a well thought out gift. I like to surprise people. If I want something, I usually go out and get it, so surprising me is pretty difficult. I’ve been surprised a handful of times in my life and those memories are priceless. I’ve also been given a small number of gifts that were obviously well thought out and meaningful and they are displayed proudly throughout my abode. When a gift is to be presented because of a special occasion, or out of appreciation I don’t usually expect much. I take the time to apologize when I’m wrong, though it sometimes takes awhile, and give thanks when I’m grateful. I expect the same in return. Words cost nothing and could be one of the best gifts one can give. When you can expand your gratitude for others to see, it becomes even more special. When you are given this opportunity, taking it could be the difference between tears of joy and tears of disappointment. Take the time to shout out loud when you love, appreciate or care for someone. It can’t hurt anything.

This is when I start to back away. I know how to run. I’m even better at hiding. Excuse my while I lie down and second guess my profession.