... lucky enough to meet someone the other night who launched this:

http://www.fallingwhistles.com/splash/index.php

He has an amazing story from his experience in Congo, and cannot keep silent about it.  

http://soundcloud.com/smilemakermusic

So, sit back, relax, and flip...

... if you gave it a chance...

I'm writing.

On the road.

Heading west.  Not stopping until I see the sun fall into the Pacific Ocean.  

Joe Guese is next to me.  

One million white dashes dance up a silent metronome.

Chasing dreams.  Again.  It's not the first time I've chased a dream.  Chasing miracles, chasing love, chasing passion.  

Somewhere on the interstate, between the pavement, and the blue skies, with my headphones on, I remembered who I was very clearly today.  I felt peace.  I felt hope.  That's what this is all about.  Maybe I just can't sit still.  I may not be able to keep a conventional life, a conventional relationship... those girls often marry the next boy.... the one dressed in security and a nice tie.  I don't blame them.  Chapters come and go.

Those girls need another band to fall in love with.  Something cuter.  Something more popular.... something in the moment... like bubblegum.  Chew it until it loses it's flavor.   I don't blame them.  Chapters come and go.

I'm turning pages.  I was stuck in between the pages for a moment.  And in the dead of this unconventional decision, I started feeling peaceful about what lies ahead.  I saw some creative glow coming out of the sunset, and now I'm chasing it.  Again.  

There is a raw energy that comes from discomfort.  That is what I always loved about New York City.  The never ending discomfort that completely vaccumed the ideas out of my head without enough time to completely sit back in my chair (sitting back in my chair is made for those moments in Bali after endless amount of travel... when I feel the need to celebrate with relaxation), without enough time to second-guess, and with far too many extremely talented people... knowing that if you didn't come up with a good idea... they certainly would immediately.  I love that strange discomfort.  That challenge.

So again, I am heading into a somewhat unknown discomfort.  I need to be re-sprung.  I want to learn more.  I want to be freaked out.  I want to remember how to chase dreams.  I want to remember how to make magic.  

I want to remember how to fall in love.

I want to be reminded that I can make someone happy.

I want to remember myself.

Books are written.  The sweetest of chapters are remembered.  Some are forgotten.  Some are burned.  But they are still written.

I hope you read the next chapter.

This will be the last chance to do this in awhile.  Come join us.  

The Click Five

Friday, September 11

11:30pm

Lizard Lounge

Cambridge, MA

Saturday, September 12

6:00pm

Arch Street Epicenter

Greenwich, CT

Sunday, September 13

Late night.  Technically Monday early morning.  1am

Can you find us?  Our favorite haunt in the Lower East Side.

New York, NY

Hey everyone.

It seems to cliche to apologize for not blogging in so long, but I already mostly explained my reasoning before.

Fans of the band:  I wish I could be completely straight forward with some answers for all of you, but some things must be kept under wraps, and I don't even have answers for a lot of your questions, which are my questions as well.  

You could say that I am extremely, extremely frustrated that our album isn't out yet, and that we're not touring...

... but please know that we are fighting with everything we have to make these things possible.

The music business can be an exceptionally cold, cold, cold industry, and I hope we can melt a little of the ice with this record.

Many of you have asked me some frequent questions, so I will give you updates, even if it's not what you or I want to hear:

-Is the album done?

Yes.  We finished tracking the record last February, and it was mixed and mastered shortly after.

- When will the album come out?

We unfortunately do not know.  We have undergone many changes.  We have parted ways with Atlantic Records.  We have switched management.  We have a new lawyer.  We have gone through a period of waiting for a legal mess to be cleared up.  The results will follow.  It may shock you, but it is what we had to do to progress, and become un-attached to the contracts.  

- Will you be touring soon?  Will you come back to Asia?

Yes and yes... but we have no immediate actual plans.  We are doing our best to regroup with our new team and somehow get this going.

- Why don't you tour the states frequently?

- The honest answer is, because we can't afford to play shows outside of our main markets right now.  Do we want to?  Absolutely, but we're looking to gain a little more success to do so. We miss you.

These are not the answers I want to give, or that you want to hear, but I just felt like some sort of update was necessary.  The band, more than anything, wants to share our music with you.  It drives me absolutely insane every day that our album sits on a shelf, and everyday we don't get to play a show.  

I'm hoping all of this happens for a reason.

Thanks for being patient, becuase I certainly have a hard time doing it myself.

Peace

Saw Paul McCartney play on the Ed Sullivan marquee, then rocked this:

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Hope to see you there.

Peace.

B

Hey Guys-

Some of you may know about the 7" vinyl that we've been anxiously waiting to put out.  Good news: YOU CAN ORDER IT NOW AT www.theclickfive.com

It has two songs: A side: "I Quit! I Quit! I Quit!" and B side: "Be In Love".

Hope you enjoy.

B

ps- thank you to the girls who wrote the heart-warming blog about the band.  Very, very sweet of you. :)

I have been distant.

Imagine a task list of many, many things that were handled by many, many people... then suddenly, the many, many people dissolves into no people, and the responsibilities are tremendous.  The rug pulled out, and the plate is very full...

Waiting patiently...

While that is happening...

I am listening... thinking... dare I say... producing...  the Atomic Tom record and loving every minute of it.  These guys are here to make something really special.  Great, not just good.  I really like that.

I hope you all are well and healthy.

B

Here it is

Last night was one of them...

We were lucky enough to have Jen Trynin sit in with us.  We did "Better Than Nothing"

Our friend Mike Verge sat in on Petty's "Listen to Her Heart"

Then the legendary John Powhida did the most outrageous "Telephone Line" with us.  

I'm hoping some foliks captured this on video.  If anyone did, I'll post it.

Pretty special.  I feel like we're getting our "live mojo" back.  Now we gotta figure out the rest...

B

The drill.  Every thing rains at once.  

The blur.  It was much easier last time.

The small victories... are the ones that count.

The frustration... lies beneath a larger picture.

The songs... are the weapon.

The band... has something to share.

Every night is one step closer to leaving it all behind, and taking on a more balanced life.

Every night is one step closer to what we've always wanted, and evidence seeps ears of the surprised new listeners.

Are you listening?

I know you're out there.

No one else to hold us up but ourselves.

I feel like I have time warped to five years ago, and am remembering how to do this.

What a trip.

We're almost halfway through our residency shows so far.  Thanks for coming out to hear this weird workshop of new songs, old songs, our favorite covers, and some of our favorite artists.  Each night we learn a little more about ourselves.  It's eaiser to do when no one else is helping.  I think to some degree we're getting put to the test, and then suddenly, the smallest of victories pushes us through.  Last Thursday in NYC was one of our better sets so far.  Tonight in Boston, two sets... and some very special guests.  

Peace.B

 http://www.boston.com/ae/music/articles/2009/03/07/catch_the_fallen_stars/

This song didn't fit the record, but it's fun to look back... Kyle just sent me this and it made me smile.

DONE TRACKING!

Today just might be the last day of tracking.  I can't believe it.  What an adventure this record became.  

Now we rehearse like lunatics for 5 days, then the residency begins!  We hope to see you all there.

Right now I'm currently listening to what most likely will be the title track for the record.  Remember the blog about writing from the view point of a dog?  That song somehow continued, perhaps switched narrators to a wise voice of reason singing some sort of moral advice as a lullaby to a gypsy venturing into t he dark corners of her youth as she caught a fever somewhere in the delta... long story short: I can't believe this song made the record, and I couldn't be more pleased.  I'm kind of freaking out.

I also recently, and I won't say where the sources came from, heard the words:

"I DON'T HEAR A SINGLE"

... yes, pertaining to the new record.

THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!!

Why you ask?

Because rock and roll was never built on playing it safe.  We kind of learned that the hard way, maybe still are learning that.

Tom Petty once made an amazing record with Jeff Lynn: "Full Moon Fever".  He turned it into MCA, and they said, "I don't hear a single."  By the way, this is TOM PETTY, who wrote hit after hit for almost a decade at this point.  MCA decided not to put the record out for THREE YEARS.  Tom was depressed, but delt with it, and teamed up with super group The Traveling Wilburys in the meantime (not a bad way to deal with frustration).  

MCA finally released that "record with no single" three years later.

Oh, by the way... did I mention that "FREE FALLIN'" was on that record?

FREE FALLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Are you kidding me?

I ate your medication for breakfast.

B

I am also on the list of people apologizing for not blogging in oh so long.  Reason:  I can barely handle the load of insanity right now with wrapping up the record, preparing for the residencies, making radio beds, and everything else that will lull you to sleep in a blog.  So instead I will give you this:

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... a song...

I have a goal of writing a song about the inability to actually change someone's mind.

It is a humbling thought.

I can't make anyone like our new music.  Or us.  I can just write it, and play it.

I can't make anyone fall in love with me.  I gotta just do what I do...

I can help someone, but I can't always save them...

I now am thinking about writing from the viewpoint of a dog, watching a couple fight all day long... 

The dog sees everything.  He sees one person in the relationship in shambles.  He sees the other trying to help.  He wants to help as well... and ends up eating the girl's medication for breakfast... JUST TO FEEL WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE SOMEONE FOR A DAY!!!  Yet, the dog cannot change her.

I can't believe I just posted my brainstorming in a blog.  Oh well.  

"I ATE YOUR MEDICATION FOR BREAKFAST"

That is the new "the price is right and I'm Bob Barker" lyric...

B

- More songs are being mixed.

- Banjo is on the tracks.

- We're indie now.  Did you know that?

- We want to play every city in the United States, but it's going to take one step at a time.

- I'm preparing to live in a van for a long time.

- I'm about to turn... older... yet I still feel 21.

- I just ripped some heavy metal on a Farrah song...

- I had a crazy thought: sell the official "Click Five Fake ID" online for the upcoming residency shows, then get arrested, then get press.  Fortunately, I vetoed that bad bad idea within minutes.

- I have been listening to Miles Davis again.

- We're making a rock and roll record.  Did you know that?

- I can't wait to hear "The World Comes Crawlin' Back" mix anytime now...

B

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I shall...

begin...

dropping hints...

You...

can...

guess...

WhatarewedoinginMarchWhatarewedoinginMarchWhatarewedoinginMarch??????

Last weekend, I disappeared into Narnia to get away from the studio for a bit and clear my head.

This is one of the better things I've done for myself in awhile.

My long time friend, musical guru, educator, and drummer extraordinaire, Andrew Jones, and his wife, were kind enough to invite me to their shire, nestled in the snowy woods.

Andrew Jones is one of those people who has the magical ability to creatively nourish the soul.  He is rich in his knowledge and passion for fine art and music.  I learned almost half of everything I know about jazz from him (we used to play in a trio together in college), and this weekend was no different as I entered his oasis of quality.

We disappeared into Narnia late Saturday night and immediately faded into deep late night conversation about life, what music has done for us, decisions, and those who mentor us.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee, and Mel's (Andrew's wife) magical waffles.  Snow was falling peacefully outside the window in the woods.  Soon after, we are watching the Joe Cocker express on DVD, Concert for Bangladesh, and Andrew hints that I should aspire to be more like Leon Russell (go ahead, Google him).  

Soon after, more coffee was desired, and so we ventured out to Andrew's choice of coffee.  Again, this guy does not mess around with quality in everything he does, and I am laughing at myself inside myself for being so obsessive compulsive and living inside of my own head between the foor walls of a studio, and in front of two monitors for two thirds of the day.  The other third, I sleep.  Sometimes.  I'll go back to it again.  Hemingway.  He traveled.  He lived.  He wrote.  Back to coffee...

We then talked about practicing your instrument, and writing, and what the space between really does.  Life has it's own way of practicing and challenging us, and somehow makes us better musicians and writers.  One effects the other.

Soon after, I was brought to a very magical place:  Mystery Train Records.

I have recently purchased a record player.  Just something about it.  The same way I grew up on an antique piano... it has a quality that the iPod cannot live up to... (I love my iPod, have no fear), but I feel that recently I have no given many records a fair chance, because 1.) I am not listening closely enough and 2.) well, I have a terribly small attention span.

Below are just a few of the gems that I found:

... also another peak at the surrounding area:

/>

We returned to the shire and had what seemed like a never ending listening party.  

Fast forward.

Dinner.  Hidden somewhere beneath the drifts.  Steak.  Hot Toddy to warm the conversation.

I was still surprised (ashamed?) at the amount of music-industry talk I let drip into the conversation.  It has it's gravitational pull.  I feel like I have been more calm and free and back to my strange, creative self, especially during the making of this record with minimal business interruptions (the way it should be), yet it still seems to nip at my heals.  Even in Narnia.  Sigh.  I share this confession with the Jones's, but they respond with encouragement and hope.

We returned to the shire for a late night viewing of the Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno music documentary "Here Is What Is".  I recommend it.  Very well done.  Once again, about getting to the core of music and communication, and what really moves people.  Eno is quite good at talking about this.  After all, that is essentially his job.

Sleep.

I was woken up by the Rolling Stone's "Start Me Up" blaring from the stereo.

More coffee.  Then into the lair.  Andrew has a workshop of instruments and drums in his basement.  We play.  He on drums.  Myself on keys.  Still conversing.  It brought back memories.... so much that I felt as if I was playing the same way that I did seven years ago (undisciplined to some degree) than the way I would now.  

Then writing.  I starting writing a song about making room for another memory.

That is what today is about.  Inauguration day.  May it be peaceful in the history books.

Finally, it was time to go.  I found the lampost, and disappeared out of Narnia.

I have Andrew Jones to thank, once again, for reminding me what creating and art/music is all about.  He is a master of the finer things in life.  The smaller undiscovered gems.  Thank you Andrew.  You have fueled up my hope that, once again, music, and at this particular point in time, a rock and roll album, can restore hope and happiness in one's life.

... and know I write about it again.  I will be in the studio in a few hours...

This album that the band is working on is very much about hope I think.  It's strangely parallel with the climate of our country, economy, and the unity that just might be on the horizon.  This album is about ideas.  It's about honesty.  

Again, happy, safe, and peaceful inauguration day to you all.

B

It's time again.

We're trapped inside of the walls of Q Division studios again.

Recording some pretty rad tunes to complete the second half of the record.

When we're not recording, we're recording... videos on Facebook walls.  This is ridiculous.

I'm starting up the question and answer again, and video diaries.

All I know is, we're recording songs with titles such as "Dancin' After Midnight".

This either means we're going to tank our career, or that we should've been around in the 70s.  I'm not sure which.... but we're going there.

Back to the insanity.  Sorry it's been awhile.  I've been lost in my own head full of weird music.  I miss you.

B

Zehr sent this:

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/01/03/opinion/1194837193498/the-face-of-slavery.html

Mentzer sent this:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17897131

This.  

Happens.

Currently.

If for some reason, you happen to be reading this and are ALSO in zip code 67401, do yourself a favor and come out for a fun filled evening of dueling piano music and insanity for the Love Chloe Foundation.

Peace.

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/h61IOZDBehRii69N

I will probably continue to talk about Somaly a bit on this site, as we had the true privelage of working with her.

The latest:

http://www.time.com/time/specials/2008/personoftheyear/article/0,31682,1861543_1865283_1866759,00.html

One of the many things I already miss about South East Asia, as many of you know, is my infatuation with good mangoes.  There are so many good mangoes in the world.

I arrived to the dressing room before the MTV EXIT show in Bangkok to find this:

Now that's what I call some serious Thai hospitality.

B

The day after the show was unpredictable.

Joey, Ethan, and Matt (or stage manager) left for the airport at about 4am after the show.  The rest of us stayed an extra day**...

Spent some time by the pool reading "The Road of Lost Innocence" by Somaly Mam (a striking eye-opener to sex trafficking in Cambodia).

We were invited by the US Ambassador in Thailand to visit the embassy.  This was completely amazing to see the office, and then even more so when he invited us over to his house (!!!) to hang out.  He and his wife were extremely kind and hospitable.  We had MUCH to talk about as they has an amazing art collection in his house, and are huge music fans (Fountain's of Wayne is always on the iPod he says).  The mangos were delicious (the princess's mangos) and the conversation was warm.  

Shortly after we went over to the MTV house to meet up with the MTV Exit folks who have been nothing short of spectacular in helping us out this entire trip and work incredibly hard to raise awareness against human trafficking.  I think the house would be the closest thing I could describe to... the Real World Bangkok.  Stopped by a friend's place, and chatted about water-skiing and wake-boarding- they're professionals... that's what they do for a living! (Pretty cool).

It was after midnight, and I could feel the 30 hours of travel (or whatever it is) approaching.  We were scheduled to leave for the airport at 4am.  I started to take a nap at the MTV house, when I was woken up to an excited Kyle saying... WE GOT OUR FLIGHTS CHANGED!  

... **so then we headed to Ko Samet island for an extra 2 1/2 days.  

Sometimes it's just hard to say goodbye to a place you love.  

Spent most of my time relaxing/reading on the beach... and tearing through the island's forest on a motor bike until I found secret clearings and beaches.  For some reason, I can write better (songs) or at least gather the pieces when in slightly dangerous situations (motorbikes, surfing, skiing).  

Now I'm looking at the clock again.  4am will approach soon.  The other guys went out, but I'm just too tired.  Long flight ahead.  I can't wait to see my family for Christmas.  Then...

... I think we owe it to the world to make one of the finer records we have ever made... if we didn't after this trip, something wouldn't be right.  Gotta hit 'em with a lot of love and a lot of melody...

Peace

I'm running late... but some updated highlights:

- Joey Zehr and I rented motorcycles before the show two nights ago.  Traffic in Phnom Penh is maddening.  There is no right way, wrong way, or stop.  Just go.  We made it happen.  Crossed a bridge and drove towards the Cambodian sunset that I'm so obsessed with.  Almost hit a cow.  Saw things I have never dreamed of seeing.  Again.  Then we bolted back before we missed....

- Playing Olympic Stadium.  Awesome.  So awesome.  Somaly Mam (my new hero- please check out www.somaly.org - I will be talking about her more soon) was hanging out with us before we went on.  Some of the girls from the shelter were there.  We were floored about this.  More floored about raising awareness to stop human trafficking.  Shortly after the show...

- Sleep... not a lot, but enough to get me on the flight to Bangkok.

- I LOVE THAILAND.  I miss it.  It's so beautiful and the vibe is amazing.  So hip.

- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7704486.stm < That was happening beneath the terrace of our hotel... I watched... surreally strange.

- The show tonight is about to happen.  Please come if you're in Bangkok.  We have to leave after this... I'm a bit bittersweet.  I fall in love with these places and the people.

- See you soon, whoever/where ever you are.

B

Hey guys- Ben here... I just read Joey's letter to his family, and felt that it deserved a spot here... read on...

I sent this letter to my family, but I figured after re-reading it I might as well share it with everyone...because it's important that we all are talking about it....

hey everyone. just wanted to write and let you know how things are going. i'm currently in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Everything has been great. The Cambodian people have been extremely welcoming and receptive to our music and message. The first show we played was in Siem Reap at the Ankor Wat temple. It was certainly the most beautiful backdrop we have ever played in front of. We then drove 7 hours to get to Phnom Penh via the one main road between the two towns. This drive was quite the white-nuckle experience. It was a constant game of chicken with the sea of motorcycles, mopeds, scooters, bicycles, tractors, huge trucks and buses, ox pulling piles of straw, and children playing in the dirt on the side of the road. We are staying on the Mekong river in the heart of Phnom Penh. The first day we hired several Tuk Tuks, which are cambodia's taxis. They are a 2 wheeled cart pulled by a motorcycle. You can rent one for the entire day for 15 bucks. We took the Tuk Tuks to the Killing Fields. This was the start of a series of extremely stirring experiences. The Killing Fields are mass graves that the Khmer Rouge used to kill and dispose of millions of Cambodians in the late 70's. There's a monument there filled with the skulls and clothing from the excavated graves to remind everyone of the insanity that occurred. Everywhere you walked there was clothing and bones in the dirt, which according to our guide were constantly brought up to the surface by rain. We then took our Tuk Tuks over to S-21 which was a school turned concentration camp. Like the Killing Fields, there were no ropes keeping you from walking through the room of clothing that was stripped from the victims or stepping into any of the cells which still have blood stains. Unfortunately, I feel extremely uneducated as I've barely even heard of the Khmer Rouge. How is is that something so heinous was not drummed into my head like the holocaust was. Maybe it has something to do with America being embarrassed of our involvement with the khmer rouge or our lack of involvement in resolving the situation. The bottom line...this is the most intense thing I've ever seen. Unfortunately that was just the start of my experience. I just returned from my trip to the women's shelter. Our purpose in being here, is to work with MTV Exit to raise awareness and put an end to human trafficking in the world. The Somaly Mann shelter (somaly.org) is named after Somaly Mann who was herself a sexual slave for most of her life. She has created a shelter that saves women of all ages from sexual slavery. We were greeted by the 40 or so women there ranging in ages from 14 to 25 with big, but cautious smiles. You could tell they were all very scared, but there was also a strong sense of hope within the walls of this beautiful safe haven that Somaly has created. We sat around and listen to the most heart wrenching stories anyone could imagine. The women all cried rivers for each other. You could tell the wounds were still very fresh and will never be forgotten. We heard stories of rape, torture, being put in cages, being forced to take drugs to stay awake so they can serve as many men as possible, getting HIV/AIDS and other STDs, having children from the abusers, running away only to be trapped again, and ultimately and most heart breaking having their familes turn their backs on them by either selling them into the trade in the first place, or not excepting them back into their family after their rescue. This last fact leads them all to believe it is all their fault and/or that they somehow deserve their fate. None of us could put any words together to respond to these stories except for we are sorry, and that the world loves them and doesn't blame them for anything. It was very, very hard to say the least. We were able to turn the conversation to a positive light by getting out the guitars, and a bucket for myself, and sharing some music with them. The bond these women have made with each other is incredible. It was hard not to completely melt into tears looking into all of their eyes as we attempted to share a happy time together. We did get through it though and successfully got to a fun and happy place. I couldn't help to continue to be sad though as I played a game of badminton with a woman who was suffering from AIDS as her 1 year old daughter (who thankfully, does not have HIV) watched and laughed. Somaly finally decided they must do at least a little bit of studying for the day so we all said our goodbyes. These women all broken by men their entire lives were still able to look to the best in us as strangers and mustered the strength to offer up hugs as we said goodbye. They weren't the hugs we are used to, they were the hugs of someone so scared and scarred. As we drove away I think they all were able to forget for a moment about their pasts and have fun chasing along with our vans as we left. I don't think any of us however were able to do the same. We all have so much to internalize. You can't hear their stories and feel their shaking hands and not put your full weight into their cause. I'm not entirely sure what today will ultimately mean for us as a band and as individuals...that will be revealed over time. It was definitely the most eye opening day of any of our lives. Now we are going to go to soundcheck at the huge stadium in the middle of the city where we are going to be headlining to an estimated 50,000 people tomorrow. Unfortunately the women we met today can't make it to the show tomorrow, because they are not safe from their pimps who are still looking to take them back. We will be playing the show for them and for all of the other people out there who are being forced against their wills to do anything. Anyways...just thought I would share what I saw today, because I thought you might all find it interesting.



p.s. i'm checking emails right now, and i got one about my united mileage plus account. wow...what a world huh. how do we even out the differences between my life of airmiles and their lives of slavery. geez

I'm sitting on my balcony looking across Phnom Penh, Cambodia typing this to you.

The last 36 hours have been quite possibly some of the most eye-opening and emotionally challenging in my life.

I'm not quite sure where to begin...

I'll try with this:

Last night.  Also on the balcony.  I was trying to describe how the day (we visited the "killing fields" and prisons of the Pol Pot regime) effected me and how it will effect my intake of media and news from now on.  I try to sum it up like this to my friend:

I can only tell people how much I love an artist.  I can play Elliot Smith for them, but I cannot make them conn ect Elliot Smith's haunting waltzes with my walks through the snow in Boston.  I cannot bless them with the ecstasy of hearing "Syncronicity II" by The Police with Nate live at Giants Stadium.  I also am aware that I may not even be able to feel what many of you feel when you fall in love with a band... because you're connecting music and the artist directly with you life, and a situation, which is yours to keep.  That's the beauty of music.

The beauty of this trip, came with much sadness... but in the same way that I can share my emotions, and experiences in text, but I cannot actually relay the direct connection with the effect that it had on my life...

I cannot make you feel what it was like to walk on human bones in the killing fields of Cambodia.

I cannot make you feel the sudden rush of shock when I was staring into thousands of human skulls.  The victims of the Pol Pot regime.

I cannot make you feel the heaviness when staring at the tree where innocent babies were thrown upon, brutally taking their lives.

I cannot make you feel the relevance of the prison shackles left as they were less than thirty years ago.

I cannot make you feel the eeriness of my hotel room at night... as it was used as an international Red Cross and hostpital and hide-out for Americans, French, British, and some Cambodians during the regime.  The Khmere Rouge raided THIS hotel and forced everyone out to the borders.

I cannot make you feel the sadness like I felt today at the Somaly shelter as we were face to face with victims of sex trafficking.  Victims of violence.  Victims of HIV/AIDS.  

I cannot make you feel the joy and bittersweet show we played with no electricity for the victims at the shelter.  This may be my favorite show I have ever played with the band.  I didn't even have a keyboard.  A shaker.  This was about THEM.  All about them.  Lyrics suddenly took new shape...

We don't need the world right now,

We've got time to work it out,

Hold on tight I'll hold on too,

Cause all I need is you.

Today this was more than a romantic butterfly feeling in the stomach.  I needed YOU.  You needed THIS.  We need LOVE.

Everybody wants to be in love.

It takes forever but we're never gonna give it up.

We're healing with love.

You try so hard to hide your scars,

Always on your guard...

Don't let me go.

Hold on.

Handle Me With Care

We are fragile people.

Next time better than the first time,

Last time better than the next time,

Sunsets fade to black,

And you know...

That's just the way it goes.

We can't control everything, but we can learn from our mistakes, and learn to love today and the next day.

See, I can't describe the feeling of having these way-too-familiar songs make sense more than they ever have, and it's not even about us.  It's about them.  It's about you.  Communicating.  Loving.

I can't make you feel the rush when I was just told that 50,000 people are expected to show up to Olympic Stadium for tomorrow night's show... all to raise awareness to stop human trafficking.

I cannot make you feel what I have felt in the last 36 hours.

But..

I can tell you.

Thank you to every single one of you who have supported my band, and have gotten us into a position where we can help out a big campaign such as MTV EXIT.  This is by far, one of the most effective events we have been able to be a part of, and we thank you for it.  I cannot describe how proud I am to be friends with my bandmates, who were emotionally brave especially in the last two days.

Please stay tuned.  I'm trying to take all of this in as much as I can, and hopefully I can share more, and together we can help educate each other about human trafficking.

Many of you are young.

Youth is beautiful.  You are the future.  You are the energy.  

Let's use it.

Peace and Love,

Ben

In Cambodia, the final hours of the day are called "magic hour"... and it is.  We drove from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh today to see everything that we could in between.  The sun started to set and we had to stop the van.  Purple.  Orange.  In Kansas, where I grew up, people are very proud of the amazing sunsets that stretch across the plains, so I can be a sunset snob. ;)

This was just jaw-dropping.  It is art, but really, more.

We stopped at a restaurant on a lake in the middle of nowhere today.  Had a stellar lunch.  We then ended up getting out the guitars and played a short set for the entire place and staff... mostly the new ones... and "Jenny" for the girls from Singapore who happened to be there.  It was lovely.  Then we went on our way.  Looking forward to venturing out into Phnom Penh tomorrow.

Peace.

&nb

Amazing is a dangerous word.  When you overuse it, like I sometimes tend to, then when it's time to describe something really amazing, you cannot use your stand-by adjective.

We played in front of a lit up Angkor Wat temple last night.  The entire night was for MTV Exit campaign against human trafficking. 

We did a stripped down set with very unique arrangements... for a more intimate performance... and the coolest part: we were told that some of these people had never seen a concert before.  Do you remember your first concert?  Do you believe in magic?

This experience is a once in a lifetime opportunity, as we really get to be in the thick of it. sp;I'm getting as much footage as I can to piece together some sort of mini documentary to share with you here on the one love, as this week has been so special.

Peace.

My last day in Beijing was a 23 hour day.

Went like this:

- Up at 5am.  Edit Video.

- Breafast.

- Work on songs/catch up with email.

- Soundcheck.

- Best dinner in Beijing.

- Meet folks.

- Show.  It was such a blast.  It's been awhile.

- Meet and greet.

- Discovering underground/indie dance Beijing.

- Bed.

We arrived in Siem Reap, Cambodia last night.  By far one of the most interesting places I have ever been.  This is bizzare.  I am in the nicest hotel I have ever been in... but I was quickly distracted the minute I went to explore last night.  Kids in the streets begging for money.  Sex workers lurking.

I bring this up, because that is why we are here - for the MTV Exit campaign against human trafficking.

Today, MTV is filming a special on us visiting the real deal.  Where it happens.  The aftermath.  I'm preparing for a very emotional day.  To see the the unspoken about.

I'll keep you posted, and if you're in Asia.  Please watch the special when it airs.

Peace

There are times, like yesterday, when it all makes sense.

Standing on top of the world on the Great Wall of China.

The Forbidden City.

The best jasmine tea I've probably ever had.

Once again, I'm reminded, why this whole thing is worth it.

I will also be reminded why we do this tonight at The Star Hall live (if you're reading this please come- we take the stage at 8pm) in front of entire audience that has never seen us live.  Ever.  Pretty cool.

Hint.  We'll be dropping two new songs on everyone.  One, we've played out before.  The other, should turn into a party.

I got up at 5am again.  Going to edit together a video of yesterday right about now....

B

1. MTV.  Music Television.  Asia.  They play music videos all day.  It's an old concept, but I quite like it.

2. Last night at the Chinese disco- whoa.

3. I sleep very little while in Asia.  I store up my Zzzs in Boston like a camel stores water.

4. In 50 minutes we depart for the Great Wall of China.  Stay Tuned.

<3

&nb

I often refer to my band's trips to Asia as my "alter ego" life, or "James Bond" life.  It's a trip.  The airplane is a portal to a very cool and bizarre world full of surprises, places I have never been, cultures I have never experienced, food I have never tasted, the nicest hotels I've ever stayed at, and a never ending schedule of shows and press.  It's all amazing, but constantly surreal from the moment I get off of the plane.

I woke up about three times due to the jet lag, and I finally just decided to get up and start the day.  Might go swim, then breakfast, then press, work on new tunes.  

Beijing is rad. sp;I've never been, but the city spells excitement and progression in it's neon lights.  The aftermath of the Olympic games is everywhere.  Last night's dinner was stellar.  The sun just came up.  Jetlag is very strange, but good for the writer in me.

We're awaiting word on the Bangkok show, as there has been trouble at it's airport.  To those in Thailand, our prayers and thoughts go out to you.

Right now, I think I'm going to set up camp (my mini-studio) and finish some tunes.  Always much to write about when there is so much "new" to observe.

Peace.

... but I accidently did this instead.

^ ^ ^

We've all heard that before on election day.

Maybe you've said it....

... but will it get us anywhere?  Will it help?

My encouragement, I suppose, is to vote if you are eligible, and be as civilized as possible on this election day.  Disagreement is fine, but we won't get very far if we cannot progress.

If you are very close with me, you know who I'm voting for, but I'm not here to try to persuade you to vote for my candidate, and I'm not against anyone who gets the vote out for a candidate if it is done with respect.

If anything, I'm asking myself what on earth I could be doing better to help this country, this world.  

I could be doing a lot more, but I create most/all of the day/night.  I certainly wish I had it in me to spend less time on CNN.com trying to thrift through the media, and spend more time helping people.  Is there such a thing as an election day resolution?

Go Vote... and please, vote in peace.

Thank you.

Hello Everyone,

I apologize for not blogging as much as I would like to as of recent.  I have been out of my mind busy with the record, and a number of other creative projects.  I do, however, have some documentation of the progress in the studio.  I hope you enjoy.

<3

Ben

&nbs

I am in transit back to Boston as I type.

Where do I begin?  I somehow was lucky enough to escape the studio on Friday to attend the premiere of Gary King's "New York Lately", and what a true joy it was.  All of the hard work and endless hours of composing came to life and paid off as I watched Gary's magic flicker on the screen.  So many familiar faces were at the premiere.  You know who you are. p; Thank you for being there.  Thank you for your encouragement.  

I went to New York with no plans, other than to attend the premiere.  The minute I set foot on her streets, happiness followed.  It's not that I'm unhappy in Boston, it's just that I'm apart from my ever growing crush on New York.  She's attractive.  Very attractive, and I miss her.

So when it was time to leave.  I did not.  I ended up writing all day with friends, wound up catching up with more friends, stayed up far too late at the SNL after-shindig...  returned to bed at 7.

Woke up.  Okay, it's really time to leave, and I still couldn't force myself to do it.  So i wandered over to the museum to look at dinosaurs with my friend Eric.  

I could keep blogging, but I think the video will explain the rest. 

This weekend was a well needed break from the insanity of constant creation, and will fuel more of it.  You have to live to create.  I will return to radicalness in the studio tomorrow.  

Peace.

I always feel like I'm catching up on so much old music, that I never get around to the new stuff.  Lately, I've lucked out with some newer stuff:

1.  Mike Viola.  Not new I guess, but I've been lucky enough to catch a couple of his residency shows at Lizard Lounge in Boston.  One of the most talented folks I know.   myspace.com/mikeviola

2.  Kelly Jones.  Mike actually produced her record, and it's full of charming melodies.  myspace.com/kellyjones

3. Paul Steel.  The second coming of Brian Wilson?  This dude is amazing, only 22, and writing ridiculous things.  Hailing from Brighton, England... my favorite experimental powerpop right now.   myspace.com/paulsteel

4. Fleet Foxes.  I was lucky enough to see them for the second time at Somerville Theatre last week.  Last time I saw them was at Middle East upstairs in July.  The harmonies are spot on, and the instrumentations are tasteful.  A strange cross between 60s California folk, Pet Sounds, and much Americana.  Some people give them the My Morning Jacket tag too... I listen to this when I make breakfast in the morning.  myspace.com/fleetfoxes

5.  Ben Folds.  Again, not a new artist, but he has a new album that sinks in more everyday.  myspace.com/benfolds

... is sitting in on our rehearsal right now.  It's sweet.  He's witnessing things no one should ever witness... the insanity.  Help.  

Nate played a great show last night.

I can't stop listening to Jellyfish.  "The Ghost At Number One" is fantastic.  Too fantastic.  

I want to blog more soon... I've been incredibly busy, always trying to catch up.

Peace.

Thanks to everyone who came out and supported the bands that played at TTs last night... and to the bands for playing.

THAT WAS SICK!

<3 

B

I really wish I wasn't so tired right now.  I've had my hands quite full, but I will go to sleep happy tonight.

I just realized that in order to be articulate, I may have to save this blog for another time, if the rush is still there... 

Is it okay to make a notes in a blog about writing a blog?  Well whether I finish it or not:

1. How I became a music snob.

2. Or did I acquire good taste?

3. What IS good taste?

4. What is opinion and it's relation with taste?

5. What is snobbery and it's relation with taste?

6. How studying classical music ended snobbery part one.

7. How studying classical music made me face the fact that rock and roll could become an ancient art.... or... gasp... dead.

8. How I ended up becoming a music snob again while being in a pop band.

9. BUT at the same time how I became more open minded to multiple genres.

10. How I secretly began making hip hop music.  (Did I just let the cat out of the bag?)

11. Why I secretly began making hip hop music.

12. Music and progression.

13. Tie it together.

14. Summary: Have I become a music snob? Have I become more open minded? Both? What have these experiences done for me positively and negatively?

15. Why am I not asleep already.

16. IF YOU ARE IN BOSTON AND DON'T GO TO TT THE BEARS TOMORROW AT 9pm SHARP, YOU ARE CRAZY.  

17. Cheers.

I used to play in a jazz trio.  When I wasn't in the "wood shed" with them, I would sometimes practice four or five hours of exercises to try to keep up with Coltrane tunes.

Since, then I decided to let go a bit, and let folks who really can swing, make bebop come to life, and focused more on writing.

Today, my band headed back into the woodshed.  We've been doing this all summer.  Trying this song.  Trying that song.  I really think it's more like carving a block of wood, more than molding clay.  Once we get a song that we all like, we try every possible option to explore the possibilities.  I don't think we've ever rehearsed like this before.  A lot of times, it's like... here's a song, record it, see what happens... which is also fun, but this seems to really shape the sound, and kind of reminds me of those crazy college days.

It's a nice adjustment.  Saturday night, I finished the score for "New York Lately" and am excited to see it's premiere.

That score threw my balance off... but it reminded me that drive and love for something can take you a ways.  

Right now... I'm going to make a news radio bed... you know, what they talk over when doing the news on radio... THEN... write a song about........

Hmmmmmm...

1.  Punjabi Dhaba - Indian Cuisine... blew my mind tonight.

2.  Scrabulous.  Fantastic.

3.  David Sedaris.  Comic essays for mid-day relief at post-session ease.

4.  My scooter.  It's cold, but I still pretend to be Italian.

5.  Beach Boys.  Warmth of the Sun.  Listening right now.  

6.  Family.  I miss them.

7.  Ethan and I just started a sweet song.

8.  Joe wants to rock last call at B-side lounge... but Boston closes so early.  (Happy thought- I read "Fountainhead" instead).

9.  Possibilities.

10. Fall in Boston.

11. French press coffee tomorrow morning.

12. John Frusciante interviews with Frank Ciampi.

13. Le Mystere Picasso.

14. My new Fender Telecaster is incredibly sexy.

15. Punjabi Dhaba leftovers tomorrow.

16. Ben Folds new record next Tuesday.

17. Mustaches.

18. Now listening to "The Strawberry Blonde" by Mike Viola.

19. I can't believe how good Mike Viola's show was last Saturday.

20. My band is about to unlease many surprises.

21. Nate Campany keeps writing better songs.

22. Atomic Tom continues to rock harder.

23. More possibilities.

24. I'm going to film the next piece that I paint.

25. Ben Kelley is going in awesome directions with his paintings.

26. The new garden at Charlie's kitchen is fantastic.

27. Mozart.

28. Bali.

29. I am one scene away from finishing the New York Lately score.

30. Mozart's Requiem.

31. An unknown Mozart piece has been discovered.

32. Our country can turn some things around if we're smart.

33. Cinema Paradiso soundtrack makes me feel like I'm in love.

34. Friends.

35. Groundbreaking phrasing in songs... that get cut.

36. All things beyond hip.

37. S&S buffalo wings.

38. Reading...

Frank Ciampi just blew my mind and baked cookies.  This is fantastic.

This also happened, after I was invited over to Ethan's new place for an insanely good dinner with friends.

I feel loved.

I also have about six hours ahead of me in film score world... ready... go!

... to read, when you're as jittery and scatterbrained as I am, but lately I've been back in it.  Reading goes along with writing.  Currently reading "Dress Your Family in Corduroy" by David Sedaris and "Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand (I put that one off for too long).

If you have any good recommendations, drop them in the comments.

Thanks.

I almost forgot to tell you about an amazing event that I attended last Tuesday.  It's called the One Art Show.  It was a silent art auction to benefit One Home Many Hopes.  Check it out:

http://www.onehomemanyhopes.org/events.html

Many of my friends put on the show, and did a fantastic job.  If you're in the Boston area, keep your eyes out for more from these talented and passionate folks.

The singer in my band, Kyle, has been touring around doing some shows with his friend Jesse.  I had the pleasure of attending the Boston show, and it was fantastic.  If you get the chance, if you haven't yet, treat yourself to a nice evening of music:

http://www.myspace.com/kylekylepatrick

While that's happening, our bass player, Ethan, has been working on some recording with Mitch Hood:

http://www.myspace.com/mitchhood

While that's happning, I've been going cuckoo (might even be an understatement) finishing the madness that started in NYC.  I am was really psyched about working with Atomic Tom on some tunes:

http://www.myspace.com/atomictom

I'm also scoring an indie film, called "New York Lately", written and directed by Gary King.  Nate Campany is doing songs and supervision, and a fantastic job at it, and even better job at giving my crazy composer self some therapy in between themes:

http://nylately.com

Other than that, it's writing, attempting to cook Thai, running, occasional yoga, coffee, and prepping to go back into the studio very soon with the band... which is going to be fantastic.  

Peace.

http://www.myspace.com/fronttoback

My favorite band of my teenage years, Ben Folds Five, are reuniting to play "The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner" from front to back.  That is sweet.

Caffeine has become a dear friend of mine recently.  Keeps me company when I read, it's scent reassures me that I can take on the day full steam ahead as I cook breakfast, it warms me as Boston starts to turn to fall, and walks me through a weird musical world.

I also taste the danger, when it fuels the unopened distractions inside these walls, the brain, the space station where in between the air and memory traffic a memory turns into wishful thinking, turns into questions, turns into inspiration, turns into an illusion, turns into a signal, and works it's way out of my body as I verbalize or ask myself if it's a possibility, as time and place do not agree.  I taste the energy racing back to the attraction, and am tortured and blessed with it's occasional rubbish that works it's way into a tangible sight or sound.  It's hard to tame, but this one... what a detour... what a trip... she's a walking resume of passion, and right when I think it's made up, her evidence follows, and now I'm trapped in a pleasant illusion sparked from her magic.  Am I infatuated with an idea, a list, or a kind spirit?  She and coffee go to intensely together, but they certainly make you think.

Would you like cream and sugar with that?

B

I had the true pleasure of working with one of my favorite bands from New York over the course of the last year: Atomic Tom.

Please check out new songs at:  

myspace.com/atomictom

...and check this band out live if you ever get the chance.

B

I can't sleep again.  If jet lag could have a flashback, then perhaps that's my body's reaction, or it's the season where the bubbles of "to be written" simmer under the surface and choose to haunt or bless me until the wee hours of the morning.  

Speaking of jet lag and flashback, thank you to every one who supporte d us in our recent trip to the MTV Asia Awards.  Many warm moments were shared with new and old friends.  

It was awesome.  Thank you.

I was speaking to my friend, who's a fantastic artist, probably one of my favorite in town, post sunset.  Not only is he a gifted artist, but time after time, I'm convinced that he could very easily have a radio talk show, write a book, or just simply have therapy sessions for folks like myself to direct them through the kooky traffic of "why we create" and state the clear purpose of it all.  What it means, the importance of the actual process, the rise and fall of the sharing, and why we continue.  Blessing or curse, we keep doing what we do.

Anyways, one topic of discussion in the conversation, spawned from a documentary I recently watched on Van Dyke Parks, a composer, arranger, and songwriter based in Los Angeles.  He is most known for his lyrical collaboration with genius Brian Wilson in his work "SMiLE", which was put away for four decades and recently finished and recorded.  Schizophrenic and beautiful music comes from this man's mind, and he embraces the madness.  One of the finest moments of the documentary, in which Frank Ciampi and I share a fascination with, is Van Dyke and Randy Newman talking about considering themselves failures for sticking to their guns, yet never having a "hit" song.  This was mind blowing to hear from two of the most talented and respected writers of my era.  

Anyways, the most intriguing bit comes when Van Dykes speaks of this thing we call "creativity".  It was humbling.  He speaks of reacting.  He reacts when he scores a film.  He reacts to something when he writes a song.

To me, this is profound, and incredibly humbling.  I think Chuck Klosterman had a similar chapter on this.  What does it mean?  

I may go and say I create, or that I'm a creative person but really... 

I may be just reacting.  

Reacting to memories.  Reacting to the colors.  Reacting to love.  Reacting to her.  Reacting to the world around me...

Only true creativity, pure creativity, may lie in the gallery around us.  

See it in the blue canvas in the sky, dotted with clouds. 

Hear it in the bird songstress, and the chatter.  

Feel it in the something that came from nothing.  

***

I didn't create that.  I merely react to it.

Hello Everyone... per request, here's an update for the fans of the band:

We returned from our Asia/Australia tour a month ago, saw our families and friends for a bit as we de-jetlagged our bodies, and headed back to Boston to start working on new material.  Getting back together in the same town again, was more of a big leap than we expected, I think, as the band had been spread apar t while we weren't touring since August of 2007.  As that move came with sacrifices for some, we're very pleased to be activated again.  The process goes something like this:

Everyone has a lot of songs.  We play the songs in rehearsal.  We meet with producer.  Producer says the band is in a good place and is capable of a lot, but the material is all over the map, and it also needs to be better.  Best and worst part is, he's right.  So we start over.  More writing.  More soul searching.  We could make any album (everyone in this band likes a lot of different music), but we're really striving to ditch out on some silly trend that's going to last for a year, and try to make songs that could be played on the jukebox for awhile.  It's really a hit or miss situation.  We're also really zooming in on lyrical hooks.  The hardest thing in songwriting, I think, is taking those simple everyday phrases that you and I always say and somehow twist them into something interesting... that simply state the real heart of the matter.

Tom Petty really nailed it when talking about restlessness, wanting Friday to come sooner, waiting for your crush to call, etc.

"The waiting is the hardest part".

These six words are so simple, yet anyone can relate to this... whether you're in first grade waiting for class to end, in high school waiting for Friday's football game, college waiting for the Delta party, in the office waiting to get out, or waiting for your weekend bingo game when you're retired.  ANYONE can relate to this simple statement.

Now, it sounds so easy when you sing it... and that's why it's the absolute hardest type of lyric to write.  It's much, much easier (at least for me) to write poetry... prose... rhyme together nonsense, or even jam cool ideas into melodies... but the good songs... the REALLY good songs... are simple... and get to that "point."

This... is stressing me out.  HA, but it's worth it.  I now walk the streets of Boston with a pad and paper and jot down anything and everything that comes to mind, or anything I hear that could be interesting. This is also new.  I used to ALWAYS work from melody first (and still happens), but the band is very focused on working from a phrase or title.  Once you have that, a lot can take shape.  

The waiting is also the hardest part for me.  I love touring.  It drives me nuts when people tell me that we can't tour... in the states or elsewhere.  I also know that we must make an album, but we're not just going to put out anything, though we have plenty of songs, if we wanted to do so.  It has to beat anything that's happened thus far.  The waiting is the hardest part, when I know we'll probably be working on this album for awhile... quite awhile... but it'll be ready when it's good.  Then hopefully we will be rewarded with a chance to tour and share these songs.

What else is going on?  We paused this week to record with Nate Campany and the Serenade.  Nate Campany, for those of you who don't know, is a tremendous songwriter, and one of my best friends in the whole world.  We all came together in Boston to record "live" (not track by track) at Q Division studios, and the music coming from the monitors is very, very rewarding.  Nate fans, get excited, this is very special, and non-Nate fans, please check it out.

The Serenade line-up:

Nate Campany (of course)

Phil Galitzine

Joe Guese 

Ethan Mentzer

Kyle Patrick

Adam Popick

Matt Pynn

Me (Ben Romans)

Adam Tressler

Luke White

Joey Zehr

Our friend Matt Beaudoin is co-producing with Nate and engineering.... and ruling at it.

Anyways, Nate, if you're reading this for some reason, thank you so much for this experience, and for your songs.

After we finish recording, the band takes off next week to Genting, Malaysia, to perform at the MTV Asia Awards.  Mega thanks to the fans for showing the support to get us there.  If you get a chance, check it out... it'll be a blast.  Then we head back to the states, to get right back into the album.  Once we get to a place where we feel like we can share some of the material... it's possible that we might do some shows in the area, if it doesn't distract from recording... I hope we can.

I think that's about it, as far as an update goes.  I hope this finds you well... and I hope to see some of you soon... the waiting is the hardest part.... but it's worth it sometimes.

&quo

The Bali sky shed a golden tear into the ocean.  A boat kite is dancing on the daylight's departure, as the water glows with fire.... those waves that quench the sand.  And I'm at peace.  It sometimes takes 364 days to get just one to stand still, but if there is any one, this might be it.  And I certainly feel no bigger than the sand, as I'm illuminated by a divine creation... this is the ultimate museum, a museum of glowing love, and I'm completely humbled, and in the process feel as if I'm standing on top of the world... on top of something.  I hope I can put this feeling into a melody and words when I return.

It's an end to an adventure.  It's the beginning to a possible freedom.  The band spent five years to grow musically to play shows like the ones we did on this tour.  I, for the first time in awhile, felt like we were represented as the band we wanted to be, a rock and roll band playing catchy songs.  Five dudes that love to create and play together.  We were blessed with an opportunity to share our spirits for 120 minutes in a fury, and like the moment when the sun touched the ocean, our five souls communicated musically the finest yet, and shared moments with those around us.  I can't thank everyone enough, whether you got to see this tour or not.  If you have supported us at any given time, and any given place, thank you.  Thank you for getting us here.  Thank you for listening... and now, we attempt to grow.  It's our duty to progress.

And now... we create.  We tell a story.  We're leaving one of the most heightened experiences to return to many unanswered questions.  Back to the fight on the home turf.

But maybe these are just the things to make one stronger.  To make us even more insane about doing what we love to do.  

So when they say no.... 

...we're telling them

yes.  

We, whether you think we're crazy or not, cannot give up.  

If this is indeed a free country, then maybe our freedom from the red taped up industry will allow a resurrection.  Whether people listen or not is beyond me, but we're ready to fight the fight.  Again.  Why?  Because we just saw and felt something magical, and no one in a suit and tie can sit here and tell me "it won't work."  Whether people will give it a chance or not is beyond me, but there is no use in not delivering the substance to be judged.  If something's there, something's there, and you have to act on it.  This last tour was confirmation that something is there.  

Now... to spread the love.

Peace.

B

ps - My addiction to Bali has me fleeing to the Cape today to write... can you surf out there??

I remember when Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees on December 20, 2005. This left many Red Sox fans shocked.

... but there was a price to pay with his 52 million dollar contract...

Johnny had to shave his beard, as part of the traditional Yankees clean-cut look.

I didn't back it... but he did what he had to do.

I, like Damon, have to shave my beard.

I have received such information in contracts, emails, phone calls, that it is mandatory to do such a thing before the Australia/Asia tour.

While I would like to believe that playing a goo d show is really all that matters, I can't be fooled....

I signed to the Yankees...

...

So, perhaps tomorrow night at the Bitter End, I may or may not let three months of discipline dissapear from my face.

If anyone knows how to make 52 million dollars doing so, like our friend Johnny Damon, let me know.

If you're in Asia and Australia, a clean cut version of myself will see you soon!

B

I've been out of touch.

I'm sorry.

New York City had me spinning around the clock in a frenzy of noise and paint.

I'm in Boston for a week to rehearse for our tour of Australia and Asia.  I just stayed in the whole evening trying to find a way to program every keyboard from both albums and new material onto one device.  It's most definitely a mad laboratory in here... and I'm still not finished.  

The excitement is returning, slowly but surely.  The drought in between tours leaves us thirsty for the excitement, and at it's first drop, we'll be back in a bender of rock and roll.  I really am NOT good at NOT touring.  Drives me a bit mad even.... however, I did find a way to fill in the void:

New.  York.  City.

I have taken on too many projects at once, but it keeps me going.  Writing pop songs, in hopes that someone will be crazy enough to want to record them.  Producing two songs with Atomic Tom and it's going to be sweet.  By the way- go see them play Arlene's Grocery in NYC on May 2.  I'll be there wondering why I will never look as cool as Eric Angelo.  I've been playing a lot, writing a lot.  Kyle, Joe, and Ethan have all come to visit.  Playing in Nate Campany's band, The Serenade, has been a true pleasure.  Nothing like playing good songs with good friends.  Writing a bunch of arty stuff just to keep the magic going in the midst of everything else.

I have also managed to venture out and cause shenanigans.  Highlights:

1.  "Shine A Light" premiere.  Go see this film.  I was incredibly lucky to attend the premiere.  Scorsese and The Stones were made it happen.  The after parties did not suck at all, and I met Ronnie Wood.  Dudes like him make me want to keep on keeping on with this band thing.

2.  Opening day at Yankee Stadium.  This was a tough one, being a Red Sox fan.... BUT I was invited to opening day at the last season of a legendary ballpark... a few rows up from first base... I had to do it.  

3.  I'm going to just skip to the end... at the SNL afterparty I wound up on stage at 4am with dude from American Idol, while Ashton and Demi were hollering out requests... we did a pretty mean "Brown Eyed Girl" and had the crowd rocking on "Hey Jude."  I just am not sure how it happened... and how the sun was up when I left...

4.  I have challenged Nate Campany to a beard off.  I have trained for many sports growing up, and this is up there as far as discipline goes.

What else... painting.  i have been painting in between the rest of the madness, and somehow, I have started to deal some of my art.  If you are interested, email smilemakerart@gmail.com, and we'll hook a brother/sister up!

Hope this finds you well.  If you are in Boston this Saturday, come say hi.

If you are in Australia/Asia... we'll see you soon.  It's going to be good.  Took years to get to do a tour like this... let's get radical.

B

I've been loving NYC for the last week.  Getting a lot done.  Creating.  Hanging with close friends.  Staying inspired... finally.

I ran across some old blogs, got nostalgic, and decided to post them.  If you've already read them, go no further.

B

1.14.07

ON A RAINY DAY

I have found myself in my room listening to Mozart's Requiem... again... taking a moment to breathe... disciplining myself to evacuate the idea of forcing another pop song. Requiem is bringing me back to my childhood... where music was an untangible, magical, pure form of emotion in it's audible majesty. I'm trying to figure out when the music became so sufficated. Maybe it didn't. Maybe it's just what happens when you're blessed with the beauty of a full-time job... writing songs... with formula... with limits... with simple language... but still... not working my old day jobs that sometimes haunted me. I never asked to be in a pop band... I suppose it was just an extention of some tangent of musical paint splattered all over a canvas like Pollock... balanced but chaotic... and a path was choosen, at least for the immediate future. Yet, it's a form of communication, limits or no limits. I came home from a show last night questioning my passionate contemporaries and aquaintances that just gave it everything on stage. Yet, I was thinking that maybe I should have stayed in my high school band and played awful guitar, and wrote songs with no hooks... is this what it takes to move masses? Do we need to scream and ask others to scream profanities and rebel against whatever we rebel against? Playing dumb? No, I can't follow a trend. Maybe it's just that suddenly your "art" which maybe is or isn't art becomes it's own brand and your inner businessman harnesses the craft until it's whithered out to dry. Maybe that's why I love to paint. I believe that I'm a horrible painter. No traning. Just me, the canvas, maybe Brad Mehldau on the stereo, a glass of Merlot. No one will see it, maybe my bandmates will come by my room and give a nod, but it now fills the void of what I miss. It's magic. No boundries. No limelight. No judgement... and my untrained brush continues to splash the visuals into a frenzy upon the canvas. I never asked to be in a pop band, I was just blessed to be able to squeeze out some form of creativity. My painting won't be written about. It won't be dressed in a suit and tie, or told to simplify or that it is arrogant and superficial. My painting will not get me onto the list, or into social circles, but it will satisfy what I miss. Mozart. It's timelessness. Yet, he put his music out into the masses. To me it's dream-music.... but did it become commercial to him? Wise up. Maybe it's the magic on the external that counts more than the internal.... I never asked to be in a pop band, but maybe after this painting, and writing a composition for my walls to hear... I'll write the simple hook that everyone else has heard over and over before for their own magical place... their own audible painting... and call it a day.

1.15.07

REV. DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

"Wake up man, we ARE leaving at 8:00!" My eyes peel away the dreams that entertained the last five hours of sleep. The dreams are now replaced by the canvas of cold rain and trees that are just sticks in the ground outside my window. Yet today, Joey and I made a pact to attend the town Service and Breakfast in memory of the almighty Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Snooze.

Thoughts.

Snooze.

Ok. Up. Barely.

Across the room... ughh, too dark and grassy of a green in my painting... fix it later.

Shower.

Thinking.

Dressed.

"Okay, Joey, let's do it. It's raining. Bus?"

"Yeah."

And we went.

We ended up meeting fellow residents, and had a good chat with the local police chief, who ended up at our table. One cadet told us about his beloved son who is still in Iraq. We listen. We think. On this rainy day we're safe at this breakfast. We have to work on a record. This gentleman's son is in Iraq, where he woke up to the building next door to him being abolished by bombs and gunfire. 

Massachusetts state representative Byron Rushing spoke. I took a few things with me, other than the obvious love and peace that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. brought us:

Dr. King was alive for 39 years. He has also now been dead for 39 years. Rushing asked how many at the breakfast were under 39 years of age. I raised my hand. He talked about our generation... my generation... your generation, and it's missed opportunity to live through that civil rights movement in his time and only read, listen, and watch King's speeches. Yet, King's idea of peace must live on. 

It is our generation, you, me, your neighbor, your enemy, that will be responsible to choose to live in harmony, or in spitefulness.
The world is a tempting place. We, as humans are imperfect. I fail every day at being as loving as the God who created me, yet somehow I still feel love and strive to love. Temptation is on every corner, and it's not just material possesion, greed, etc. One of my favorite quote's is actually about the temptation to become bitter... and guess what? The word's came out of Dr. King's mouth:

"Never succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter. As you press on for justice, be sure to move with dignity and discipline, using only the weapon of love. Let no man pull you so low as to hate him."

King's words and ideas lasted past the evil bullet that ended this peacemaker's days on earth. 

We are imperfect, but we can love.

1.17.07

RE-ACQUAINTING WITH THE SKYLINE

I'm lying awake in New York City after parting ways with it for almost a half a year. Trying to decipher what magnetism it is that lures me back time and time again.

Re-establishing friendship. Community.

I used to be almost petrefied of the city. Maybe it was the detail. One of my professors, a few years back, pointed something out to me that I'll always take with me. He always spoke of someone describing a room, and how most of the time, it was usually visual. Yet, as writers, we must not forget the sound, smell, touch, taste, our body, and motion as senses in addition to sight. That's why this city must have been so overwhelming at first. I like detail. Well, I used to.... until I suddenly could not take in every single color, siren, scent of the passing perfume, comfort of my warm scarf, cold breeze, and my excited heartbeat all reacting to so many different changing enviroments on every single block.

I'm no longer petrefied, or weary. In fact, I feel very at home in this city.

Blessed friendship. Community.

It's strange without the love and friendship in this place it used to be a concrete jungle. At times, I often preferred magnificent mountains, or the ocean to any manmade concrete sculpture... but then my un-mademade friends were sprinkled into this wonderful city, into another chapter. 

Another drink after dinner.

The city is aglow outside as we carry on over our glasses.

Our tongues are amazing, twisting languages into love, into compliments, into stories, and unfortunately sometimes into lies.... but tonight, mostly guidance, friendship, advice, compationship... from these words... the wind-up, the pitch... into the ear behind the plate... and tonight was a homerun in re-aquainting my friendships. Re-aquainting with this gorgeous skyline. 

And through it's conversations, stories told, and lessons learned, the future holds our new absence of error, learning from mistakes... and a hope for stronger community. A stronger and more real future.


Bed. 

Sleep.

Dream.

1.25.07

SOMEWHERE OVER THE ATLANTIC

My eyes just went misty, holding back teardrops at thiry-some thousand feet over the ocean, not for the first time, while watching a movie... on a plane... this is ridiculous... that or the director, cast, and crew accomplished their mission...

Or I want to fall in love. Not neccesarily the romantic love. Romantic love is nice, and it seems as if every five years it really gets me... I tend to fall in love with moments, with ideas, with watching people. I suppose that's where art comes in... in the case of film-making, a summary of moments strung together to dance on a screen and make us associate, feel, maybe even fantasize, or become nostalgic through another situation close or far away. Art happens in real life moments, but I didn't become misty watching conversations on the tube yesterday in London... there were beautiful moments.... but when the beautiful moments are strung together, or laid out upon a canvas, or put into a song, they're compressed somehow to make us draw upon our own circumstances to FEEL.

One year, I read Hemingway like it was a habit. Most people that really know me would question, and rightly so, why on earth I could be so addicted to such a dry author. But that was just it. I think nothing like Hemingway... yet, his simple, minimalist language took my mind to a place where it would otherwise not go. Another author could probably take me to the same bullfight in Spain, but Hemingway gave me a different experience... one of carefully chosen words. This is why I think he's a great lyricist's author. You want to say so much in a song, and most often, especially nowadays in a "pop" song, you have a limited pallette, usually two verses, a chorus, and a bridge at most. The chorus is like a thesis statement, the verses are hypothesis, and the bridge sometimes gives the songs character a multi-dimensional point of view. Yet, as much as I would like to go on and on in prose, or talking to a friend about it at the local pub, that's just the beauty of it. These simple, simple words. Only saying what needs to be said. These common every day words jumbled together in one collage.... and it's not always an autobiography. That's why artists need these moments, whether taken from life, or other art. When you can't live, read, listen, observe. Bruce Springsteen put it quite well... he talked about his life not being all that interesting... why would he write about himself when he tours around the world, plays a show, and goes home every night? He writes about the people that we KNOW.... and that is communication in art.

Sacrafice. I've learned a lot in the past few years. What's beautiful to one individual may not raise an eyebrow to his or her neighbor. Sometimes it seems like art, which really is a form of communicating, communicating emotions, can be kept introverted....

(Wait, plane is about to land. Landed. Customs. Baggage claim. Ride home. Say hi to the dudes. Dinner. Rehearsal. Sleep. Wake. Office hour. Scales. Bach. Errands...)

I'm back.... my fingers are crawling at half speed over the keypad after being outside. Getting colder, but the sky has disguised itself well today with some sunshine. Where did I leave off? Rambling about art=communication with it's internal sacrifice to produce external results. Hmmmm... I've lost count of how many songs have been submitted for this next record. I suppose there is a reason for that. Those that have invested in this must filter it's product. I believe that you may not hear some of the most beautiful songs that have been submitted, BUT they may not have any relevance to the masses. There is a reason for these less modernly formulated songs to get axed. I suppose we didn't sign a dotted line to make pretty things that we really like, it's to make ideas that many people like... or at least try to... and I suppose that's why I was in London trying to wrestle three hooks to the ground in the studio, while stepping out to the other side of an imaginary stage, imaginary car stereo system, getting into my "people" mindset and ears, not my "arty guy" mindset and ears. Communicate. My hero's in the sixties did it before turning into timeless creative giants. Focus.

Finally wrote a song about Boston for the first time in six years. I was talking to a friend who works in the film industry in Los Angeles last night. She attended college at Emerson, while I was at Berklee, then moved to pursue her career. She has, whether she knows it or I know it, revitalized my creative battery more than once. She like me, struggles with the everlasting battle of what we think is beautiful art vs. commercialized art. Maybe it's greediness, that we want to only make something that we love, whether anyone else does or not.... who knows. That's besides the point. Anyways, I was talking about what a romantic town Boston turns out to be. I always thought of Boston as a very non-sexy place, in it's brick forest... yet it's character is easy to write about. She said she missed that character... I often find myself complaining about these everlasting grey skies, yet it brings something real out of me. I told her that those grey skies and cold winds must whack me on the back until I spit out some melodies and lyrics about it. And somehow, I had to be across the ocean to write about it. Nostalgia. Maybe I did it. I associated those melodies and lyrics with something that I know and feel. Maybe I got on the other side of the fence for a moment... in the meantime, I'm going to rehearsal before this weather makes me nostalgic for a warm place that I've only visited....

2.18.07

SEASONS

The front lawn is a cemetery, with the dead spring buried beneath white, frozen snow.... so frozen that it's like it's own ice glacier. I was reading about a senator, one who once had tremendous amounts of power, years later, outside of the bold gates in Washington, looking in, wondering how power could shift so abruptly, suddenly making him an outsider. Politics and entertainment have short lived power, which is why, if one is careful, will allow his/her ideas to outlast their actual stay. Just like the dead green grass in the lawn, it's ice tombstone will melt, and the spring will live again.

...

We are having the time of our lives recording in the studio right now. It's natural. It's quick. We're in a good place. We'll see you all when the ice melts...

3.28.07

SKYLIGHTS AND SUSPENSE

The sun is setting and teasing us through the skylights at the studio. I suppose it works out being inside, in the warm climate, and pretending that the sun rays coming in foreshadow a summer... a summer of love...

The new music is pouring out of the monitors as I type, and I couldn't be more excited, because the closer we are to finishing... the closer we are to touring... the closer we are to rocking with you guys again.

I was talking to my Mom the other night about how music is merely icing on the cake in life, un-neccesary for survival , on the brink of superficiality.... YET, it can change lives. Music is meant for our souls, and brings our hearts and spirits together. 

Music is not about us, it's about you... 

...and we can't thank YOU enough for being a part of something special and for the love and support though thick and thin. Let's rock soon, shall we?

I

Since when did bands become a battlefield?  A weapon for social ladder climbing?  A means of leverage?

No one owns anyone, or owes anyone anything.

Quit fighting and start promoting.  Abandon the ship if you don't want the ship to sail.  The ship wants you aboard, but only if you're aboard to sail.  

II

I miss the tour.  I miss Damone.  I miss Atomic Tom.  I miss touring with bands that I love.  I miss everyone that was there for the right reason.  I miss the fans.  I miss the late night drives.  I miss the old friends.  I miss the community.  I miss my bandmate's musicianship.  I miss my bandmate's wit and companionship.  

Band's challenged each other to grow.  It was real.  Now it's gone.  I want it again.  

Thank you for making that week possible.  I miss it.

III

Most people don't know this, but I have been a nomad since September.  Our lease was up right before we left for a tour, so we put our belongings in storage, and headed out on the road.  While it was liberating to no longer worry about unnecessary rent while touring, I now return to... return to...the next chapter.

Some good things have come of this odd lifestyle.  I am constantly driven to set up the next "event", because going home to chill out isn't an option, minus the holiday, which was WONDERFUL seeing my family.  

This unexpected nomadic period of my life has pleasantly resulted in trips all over the world, and endless spree of projects and opportunities.  The uncomfortable situations and anxiety that come with this lifestyle fuel the drive and the creativity almost more than the early stages of my band, when I was living off of tuna sandwiches and baby carrots.  

In this "segment" I have embarked upon a stellar trip to London, ended up in the woods writing and painting, made a bizzare holiday musical, wrote country songs in Nashville, wrote art songs in New York, played some great shows with friends, got to write with a lot of friends.  Then the band we toured... shortly, but sweetly.  Then one van went to Boston, one went to Brooklyn.  I took the van to Brooklyn.  I am the luckiest person alive to have such hospitable friends.  The timeline kept spinning and I scored my friend's short film, my friends threw me a wonderful birthday celeration, and recently Kyle invited me to record in a cathedral in Charleston, South Carolina... where I turned back into my old mad composer self and was surrounded in a mess of string arrangements all night long.  I saw sunrises. The pay off was well worth it.  Now I'm in Atlanta.  Tomorrow I'm in LA.  

I never know what's next.  Maybe this is what it is to "live in the moment".  I could complain about it (and I have done my fair share of complaining about how joining a band with a marketing flaw can make you go broke... just ask Luke White- but that's another blog.. or book), but then I look at everything accomplished, and know that it's meant to be... for now, at least.  Perhaps I'll melt down and get a place in Brooklyn amongst my friends when the time is right and the time may be soon... but the time will tell.

I started a blog.... accidently posted the first thoughts... then wrote the next two chapters... then it got deleted... now I have to run... again... crap.  I'll try again later.

B

Dudes and Chicks!

 Just wanted to give you a heads up on some radness ahead:

 Make sure you order your tickets soon for The One Love Rocks NYswizzle!  This show is gonna get nutty, and you don't want to miss it!!! 

 My band, The Click Five, will be doing a mini tour coming up.  Check it: 

 Did i mention that DAMONE is playing the Boston shows, and ATOMIC TOM is going to rock the shizzy at the Blender????  It's gonna be a good little run!

 See you soon!

Ben 

www.myspace.com/miracleonbedfordave

Keep posted... 

I have recently discovered the phenomenon of iLike on Facebook.? You have the ability to share songs that you enjoy, by leaving them on your friends pages.? In doing so, I have also discovered what our band's fans are listening to, as it is posted under favorite music.? I then visited my band-mates Facebook pages and looked at their favorite music (and simply listen to their iPod blast at night) as well as mine, and suddenly realized...

... there is a drastic difference.??

Nothing wrong with that at all.? It just find it very interesting, because we adore our fans, and get along quite well.? How does it match up?

So as we are listening to entirely different music, than what our band is categorized as... I am left with three hypothesis:

1.? Our band has failed to make music that sounds anything like our influences, or be placed alongside with our favorites.

2.? We are a rare breed of a power pop band (rock and roll + melodies) that succeeded to penetrate the pop culture market.

3.? Marketing has defeated music itself... whereas a schtick, image, and a great deal of photoshopping have taken priority, whereas he actual music is an extracurricular.

What do you think?

... to be continued...