Hello everybody!
I've been feeling exceptionally motivated lately, and I wanted to pass along some sources of inspiration.

I personally think all of this stuff is incredible, but I certainly won't ask you to watch/read all of it.  However, what I will ask of you is this: please find some organization/cause/charity/people group that enlivens you, and help!  It's nothing new and revolutionary to say that there is tremendous pain and injustice in the world, but those who actually do something to help are the true revolutionaries.

Before I get started, I thought I'd share a link that I recently found (thanks to AJ Jacobs' hilariously tongue-in-cheek, yet insightful book "The Year of Living Biblically").  For anybody who has heard horror stories of charities with multi-millionaire CEO's, charity navigator is a website that allows you to see the way many charitable organizations distribute the donations they receive.  It's a wonderfully helpful site, and I highly recommend it:

http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=11051

Now, to the list of life-changing media:

1. For starters (as I mentioned in my twitter), my wife and I saw Slumdog Millionaire last night, and it's one of the most life-changing movies I've ever seen.  Please (if you're allowed to see rated R movies) go to the theater tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, or wait until it's on DVD.  Just make sure to see it (again, only if you're allowed to see rated R movies with violence and cussing), because it truly moved me.  Here's a trailer for the film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIzbwV7on6Q

2. Secondly, my wife found an amazing church out here in Cali called Ecclesia.  We've thoroughly enjoyed attending the last couple of months, and it's a wonderful community that is working very hard to combat injustice in hollywood.  Our minister is a film-maker, and he worked on a rockumentary involving human trafficking and slavery called Call + Response.  We had the privilege of attending a viewing hosted by the director, and it blew my mind.  Here's a trailer for the film, which is currently in theaters:

http://www.callandresponse.com/

3. Finally (but certainly not lastly), I met a unique bloke (I love that word) in Australia named Az.  Aside from being hilarious, he was also a selfless, loving guy who is passionate about feeding the hungry.  Az a result (I couldn't resist), he performed an experiment called 7 Days/7 Dollars, during which he lived for a week off of $7 (the amount of money many families hope to make in third-world countries).

If you want to see the video chronicle of his 7-day adventure into poverty (certainly much lighter than the 2 previously mentioned videos), you can check out his you-tubed tales here:

http://www.500dreads.com/blog/?p=88

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.  I realize that there are thousands of movies and groups trying to make a difference (Invisible Children, To Write Love on Her Arms, etc.), and I am by no means stressing the importance of these 3 over anything else.  They're just the ones that struck me in the last few weeks.  By the way, if you're reading this (or any other blogger on theonelove.org), money currently being generated for the blogger's organization of choice!  Mine is iSanctuary, a group that helps young girls get out of the slave/sex trade.

Please feel free to share some additional works that you like, and that have lit a fire under your booty!  I love this stuff.

Take care, and let's end hunger, poverty, injustice, racism, prejudice...tonight.  Haha.  Seriously, though...let's end it.

What's going down?
Just for the record, I don't legitimately use language resembling the above salutation...it's meant to be read with somewhat of a tongue-in-cheek interpretation.  This is Chap Stique, and I'm writing you from my quiet new pad in So-Cal.  The sun is flowing through the shutters and it's 84 degrees outside...and it's January 14.  Wow. 

I always work hard to try to answer most of the questions I get on myspace/facebook/email, etc., and one of the most common ones of late is this, “Dear Chap Stique, you used to tour every day, and now it looks like Family Force 5 is touring a bit less.  What do you do during your free time?  p.s.-you have a mullet.”  As daunting a task as it is to answer the question, I thought I'd give it a whirl.

'Tis true!  FF5 is slowing down from our billion-shows-a-year schedule so that our wives will continue to love us and our friends will still remember our names.  It's a glorious thing! 

Now more than ever, I'm gaining respect for my mom and all of the random odd-jobs that she had to do when my chap-sister and I were kids.  I wake up, have breakfast, workout (so I can be a trophy husband), practice guitar, work on the FF5 myspace/facebook pages, call some fans, do some reading, and then...I become my mom!  I go to the grocery store, drop of broken things (including a lot of guitar gear) at the repair centers, go to the post office (just to hang out, really...I love it there), clean our pad, go to the bowels of hades (oh, sorry, I mean the DMV), etc.  For the most part, it's kind of fun, and instantly gratifying, but today's endeavor is quite an exception.

When I arrived home from the Dance Rawr Dance II tour, I noticed a hilarious triangular dent in my trusty vehicle (I'm not much of a car guy, so I'm cool with my old, pink Honda).  My wife told me that a lady named Sheera (some names have been changed to protect the identity of the individual) ran into her at the post office, and she gave me her info. 

I called our girl Sheera to see how we should go about fixing the car, and home-girl freaked out on me!  She immediately became defensive, and offered insanely insignificant amounts of cash to repair the car (fyi-the proper protocol would be to use insurance).  I complied, saying that I would do my best to help her by getting a lot of estimates on the repair (rather than using the most-expensive/most professional repair center).  I also arranged my schedule so my wife and I could share a car, and she wouldn't have to pay for a rental.

Upon finishing our call, I instantaneously left to get some estimates...unaware that Los Angeles traffic would consume the next 3 days of my life!  Over a span of countless hours, I went to 4 different repair centers (2 of which were run by shady 245-year olds from other planets) and received typed, professional, detailed quotations stating the repair costs. 

I called Sheera to give her the rates, and she began yelling at me, claiming that I was a scam-artist who was stating unnaturally high rates, and she threatened to take me to court.  She declined to see the documents from the companies, because she said it was a massive conspiracy.  Utterly perplexed, I asked what she proposed, and she once again offered me cash (literally 1/10th- - 1/15th of the true cost). 

Finally, I decided to call up the insurance company...so we'll see what happens!  I assume it'll be a catastrophe, but I'll be glad once it's finally done, and the old standby is back to 100%.  And I really don't want to go to court over this!  I might have to miss a show!

So, I guess I need to go call some people to get the latest update on the repair situation.  After that, I'll need to pack for our amazing Australia/New Zealand trip!  I'm super excited, and have high expectations of getting punched by a joey!  Take care, and we'll see you guys on the AP Tour, at some of our Winter Jam spot-dates, or in the land down-under. Vegemite forever!

How you doing, people?
This is Chap Stique.  I'm writing you from the chillingly cold, strangely overcast city of Cleveland.  Every time we play here, I feel a dire need to yell, “Hello Cleveland” in my most tidy, frantic English accent while unabashedly pumping my fist (to honor our friends in a tiny band called Spinal Tap).  For those of you Cleveland-ers, I've done that at every show in your city, but I don't have a mic, so it's solely for the enjoyment of those who are skilled in the art of lip-reading.

I get to see my wife tomorrow!  Woo hoo!

So I just hung up from one of the most bizarre conversations I've ever had, and I'm extremely confused.  Here's the explanation: my beautiful white PRS guitar suffered from a few wiring problems (I apologize to any fans who had to experience the technical difficulties involved with this), and the company offered to fix the guitar for me-by the way, they have the most incredible employees in the world.  The repairs have been made, and the guitar has been FedEx-ed to tomorrow's show!  Again, it rules to have the help of such a supportive guitar company.

I opened my email to review the FedEx tracking information, and was slightly concerned when I noticed that the projected delivery time was 11:00 am.  The venue told me nobody would be present to receive the guitar until 12:00 pm, so I decided to call FedEx to see if they could alter the delivery time by an hour. 

After staying on hold for an absurdly long time, a receptionist picked up, noticeably perturbed by a previous call.  I explained the situation and politely requested that she change the delivery time from 11:00 to 12:00 to make it easier for everybody (the sender, recipient, deliverer, and rock band).  The woman promptly raised her voice and scolded me, saying, “Sir, I am just a customer service representative.  I don't deliver the guitar.  I have no clue what time it will arrive!” 

Taken aback, I quietly replied, “I'm sorry, ma'am.  I realize you don't make the delivery, but if you can give the driver a note to wait until noon, he or she will be able to deliver it to a person rather than having to send it ba--.”  She furiously interrupted me, yelling, “SIR (by the way, I hate like when people call me “sir” and assume that it magically turns their insults into compliments), this is a HUGE snafu, and this is one of the craziest, most ridiculous deliveries I've ever dealt with!  You might just have to pick up the guitar from Mr. Smith” 

Trying not to laugh (Mr. Smith lives in Baltimore, and we're not going back near there for probably a good 5 months or so), I decided to end the call before the poor agent's head blew off.  “Thank you,” I said, realizing that I might not see that guitar for awhile.

Speaking of gear, I am thoroughly enjoying plenty of new gizmo's on the Dance Rawr Dance II tour.  Line 6 hooked me up with a unique new amp head (designed by Reinhold Bogner), and Dunlop is supposed to be helping us make some personalized picks that you guys will love.  I finally got a pedaltrain board for my effects, and I got a really cool wah on eBay for a fifth of the normal price!  Things are sounding pretty good, and I'm excited to have some new toys.

In other news, a girl in Canada told me she liked my mullet yesterday!  Incredible.  I have been striving for a Euro-mullet for quite some time, and that was the first somebody legitimately called it a mullet without being prompted to do so.  Another girl told me she thought that I was 33, which was weird, because people usually guess 19.  I guess I need to bust out the anti-wrinkle cream around my eyes!

Tub-O's back, and that's a treat.  The opening bands rule, and airlines suck.  Thanks for reading, and rock it!
Chap Stique

What's happening, everybody?
This is Chap Stique reporting from the gorgeous, perfectly-climated city of San Diego, where everybody seems to be a character from Disney's Johnny Tsunami (a hilarious movie I watched when baby-sitting once).  Unfortunately, we go onstage somewhat soon, so this blog may be slightly shorter than usual.  Please accept my apologies.

So...guess what today is?  First of all, it's the San Diego Warped date.  Secondly, it's the day after the 1-year anniversary of my proposal to Sarah (my amazing wife).  Thirdly, it's three days after Crouton and Fatty's birthday.  Fourthly, it's the first day that we are allowed to sell physical copies of Dance or Die at our shows!  Woo hoo!  I had the privilege of gazing at our apocalyptic pose on the cover, opening up the glorious jewel case to behold the innovative disc, and perusing the liner notes to indulge on our lyrics and thank-you's.  I just got done signing some at the Skelanimals booth, and it was insanely exciting to see them for the first time.  Dance or Die has been an incredible experience, and it's exciting to finally see the finished product.  I think you guys will dig it!  I LOVE the artwork, because it looks like a prog-rock record, and I think it looks spacey and futuristic.

Speaking of space, we went there on our days off!  Well, kind of.  As you well know, Warped Tour is brutal (usually 12 days in a row of shows, then a day or two off...then 12 more...1 or 2 days off), so our off days are precious.  We usually wash our stanky space suits, grab some Mexican food and watch a movie.  However, this time, Soul Glow requested a special trip into the redwood forest. 

I have always been a nerd about nature, but this particular experience was like no other.  We drove into the behemoth of a forest, walked through monstrous trees, and sprinted around like wild banshees.  I've never felt so primordial before.  It was like another planet.  Nadaddy and I searched for Ewoks (to no avail) while Soul Glow and Crouton pretended to be velociraptors (I hope that spelling is correct...it's not a part of my daily vocabulary).   For some reason, whenever you feel insignificantly small in proportion to your surroundings, you feel slightly juvenile.  We all zipped around and felt compelled to partake in epic conquests with giant insects, dinosaurs, and robots. 

I guess that's why flies haul booty and zip back and forth.  They feel like little kids because they're so much smaller than everything else.  But then again, they are little kids, since they were most likely born a few hours ago.  Isn't that weird?  And they vomit when they land?  Whack.  By the way, the lead vocalist for Sky Eats Airplane vomited during his set the other day.  That was one of the most rock and roll things I've seen in a long time!

My favorite sunglasses broke today.  It was pathetic.  Nothing cool caused the break.  I was simply removing them from my ear, and they snapped.  Weak.  I wore them in the Dance or Die photo shoot (the dune shoot), and they looked cop-like and unnecessarily large.  I will miss them.

Gotta go get ready to rawk it. Take care, and thanks so much for all of your support with Dance or Die.  It's exciting for us to finally see the real deal!  Rock it,
Chap Stique

Take care... and rock out!

Heart Support has been nominated for an impact award on Myspace. The winner of the award receives a $10,000 prize, which would really help this organization to continue to grow and thrive. I'd really love to help them win this.

Just click here to cast your vote!

What’s going on, friends?
This is Chap Stique writing you from sunny Arizona, where the heat has successfully baked all of the odors of the band’s morning breath and unwashed dishes into a revolting stew of stench. To put it more simply, our bus stinks, and the heat has transformed the smell into a tangible mush.

On a more flowery, fresh note, I have received lot of inquiries about my upcoming wedding! Wowsahs, whoa, wee, and wahoo! The Beas and I have been dating for five glorious years, and it’s about dang time for us to tie that thick, double, no, triple knot! Details have been requested, but I have to save them until after the big day. No offense, but I don’t want any of the guests to read or hear about the draygon (spelling intended) that’s jumping out of our cake and breathing fire all over the floor while we dance to Ronnie James Dio’s "Rainbow in the Dark." It’s supposed to be a surprise. But I’ll shoot you a few tidbits of inside scoop when I write my next blog (how the floral-arrangements looked, what kind of food we ate, etc.).

Yesterday was a day off for Family Force 5, and we parked near a giant hotel in the beautiful city of Alba-crazy, New Mexico. I decided to go for a run (despite the frigid temperature and drizzly precipitation), and I was delighted at the amazingly epic vibe that accommodated my jog. As I ran along the side of the highway (stupid, yes...the only option...yes), I steadily approached a domineering, snow-capped mountain range that was enveloped by cloudy smog. It felt as though Smeagol was about to leap out at any moment to smuggle my iPod, which was blasting Muse’s foreboding song "Take a Bow" through the overcast atmosphere. Kind of creepy, if you ask me.

As I finished the run, I sludged my sweaty body into the 5-star restrooms at the posh hotel (don’t worry, we weren’t staying at a 5-star hotel, we were simply parking there) and waited in line. As I awaited my turn at using the facilities, a suspicious, flustered man urgently sprinted into the bathroom flailing his arms and yelling, "Excuse me, sir!"

I turned and greeted him, slightly on the defensive.

"How many miles did you just run?" He desperately implored.

"I’m not sure...I didn’t check. Maybe 2-and-a-half or three," I retorted.

"Did you know Americans breathe incorrectly?"

"No, but to be honest, that doesn’t surprise me too much," I politely replied.

"Most Americans have terrible foot problems because their shoes don’t fit," he urgently demanded.

"Oh," I answered, anticipating the sales-pitch of a lifetime.

"Ok. I saw you running, so I thought you should know," he nonchalantly concluded while leaving the bathroom.

It was a very "Big Gulps" moment (if you don’t understand that allusion...well, you should), and it kind of creeped me out for a few minutes. I waited in line for my turn to use the restroom (three other men nervously crept by as we were having our awkward exchange) and then walked back to the bus, examining my improper breathing habits and uninformed footwork.

I don’t think there’s a moral...just kind of a funny moment. Nothing profound...just something random that I thoroughly enjoyed.

In other news, my tux is altered, my cyclops toenail is back to being a bi-clops (which I think is a good thing), my phone fell in the toilet, and my bowling scores are back up to par, despite a drastic decline over the last month or so.

Oh, and my mom wrote this hilarious message to me...here it is:

"Hi, Mr. Derek.

Your dad went to a Rogers High School baseball game last night to support a young kid from church. Imagine his surprise when he heard them playing "Southern Gentleman" (?) over the loudspeaker. He told the people he was with that he was sure that was your song. They went up to the announcer booth, and sure enough, there was the FF5 CD which they said they use often!

Rock on!"

I just love that she said "Southern Gentleman" and then had the (?). Incredibly hilarious to me. My mom RULES!

Take care, and rock it like a bunch of champions!

What you be knowin'?

Please watch this video before you read this blog.  It is incredible:

http://ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/3794 

I am honored to be a part of this glorious webworld, and I cannot wait to hear about the amazing charitable progress that takes place through some of these blogs (I particularly enjoyed Cassie Petrey's shout-out to Lady Antebellum.  D.W. Haywood, or Haygrille, as I call him, is one of the most amazing people you'll ever meet...and he plays chicken lickin' country pickin' like a champion).

Speaking of amazing people, I am going to marry one this spring! Wowsahs!  That's right...a few months ago I got down on bended knee and popped ye olde question to my juan and only, and we are pumped about growing old with one another.  The wedding planning has been amazingly fun, but I must complain for a second: there are NO stores in the US that make amazing tuxedos or suits for people in my skinny, wrangly size!!!!!!  

Being far too concerned with fasion and attire (forgive my vanity please), I have a strong desire to try to look as suave as possible on the big day, and I am enormously frightened at the thought of wearing an oversized, boxy, business-man-tuxedo.  I look ludicrous (and strikingly similar to a teen in the awkward-stage) every time I slip into formalwear, because it is made for corporate executives that don't care about trying to keep up with Tyler HIlton's good looks.  

So I fruitlessly searched hundreds of stores (including the nice, upscale ones like Saks, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, etc.) for a bangin' tux.  After days of trying on humorously-large blazers, I stumbled upon a European store named Sisley that saved the day with an Italian-cut unique-looking, well-made tuxedo that absolutely rules.  I will most likely end up wearing this suit...but that's not the point (otherwise, this would be the most shallow blog ever).  The point is this:  I shouldn't have been forced to spend 3 solid days shopping at every store in the world before I found one suit that ruled.  EVERYTHING else was cheap, mass-produced, and made in a half-hearted manner (with the exception of some $3,000 Armani suits...but they still didn't fit me...or my budget).  

I feel tremendously sorry by people that don't take their careers and/or their art/creations seriously.  Granted, there's NOTHING wrong with wearing generic attire (in fact, it is perfect for some people), but why should so many companies mass-produce crap (clothing, food, furniture)?  I am not bashing mass-production...I am simply bashing mass-production of lackluster items.  I'm not sure what your perspective is spiritually, but I personally feel that creation is a form of worship, and it is tremendously important that we always do our best to make quality art.  If you decide to be a seamstress (what is the male form of seamstress?  A seamster?), then work your butt off at being the best seamstress/seamster you can!  If you are a doctor, be the best doctor you can!  I'm not encouraging us to put an emphasis on material items or fasion, but I am encouraging us to see beauty and inspiration in our work!  

I apologize for the rant...but I think we are often taught to view people as potential dollars, and that scares the crap out of me.  Instead, we should see people and hope that our jobs (music, service, products) can change their lives (the person that invented the Oreo changed my life)!  Whatever you do, do it well!

Highlights of the week:

1. Hanging with my parents at the smallest, most ridiculously-overpriced show we've done in ages

2. Learning about Radiohead's brilliant pricing strategy for the new record

3. Hearing that Gerd Leonhard has a new book (The End of Control...it's free online)

4. Filming the new Really Real Show (coming out Saturday on our myspace and youtube)

5. Hanging out with my friend Tom at Club 3 Degrees while Jonezetta rawked the haus! 

 
Take care, and rock it!